Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
