YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
