i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
