he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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