Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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