yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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