I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
