The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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