You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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