Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
