And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
