Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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