If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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