the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
