I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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