I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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