At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
