R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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