I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
