U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
