dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
