There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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