Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
