I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
