Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
