i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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