I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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