And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
