a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
