if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up under a house in Key West
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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