ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
