i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
