fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
