I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
