i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
