just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
do herpes really smell.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's rum buckets o'clock
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
