New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
