i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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