so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
