Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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