I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
