he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
