I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
