.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You ruined the universe
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
