I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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