so explain again why im purple
no
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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