I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
