The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
