i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
