I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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