I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
