If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
this boner is exhausting
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
